Where's the Beef?...on the Web & it's CHEAP!!!

So apparently there is a fan base out there longing for my return to the blogging world. Albeit, a small, very small fan base...however SIZE DOESN'T MATTER. That's right...the more I say it....the more it IS TRUE!!! Although small in size (that's right, I said it again), it's the people that make up this fan base that makes it unparalleled (in a good way) to the hoards of mis-directed souls that would faint over the sight of just seeing their superstar or idol in person (i.e. Michael Jackson pre & postmortem). Those people are just looney! Now I know what you are thinking, "who the hell does Pito think he is portraying himself as an idol or superstar?" Well, to that I say, "I obviously AM DA SHIIZ-NIT!!!....because after all, you are reading MY BLOG!"

Well now, since you are here and have already invested an un-returnable amount of time to reading my non-sense, you might as well stay and say to yourself "to hell with the rest of my day"...or at least the next 5-10 minutes of it.

On to my poison of choice today...

Internet Bargain Must-Haves or Deal of the Day Addiction?

So I've been told lately, that I have an addiction to what I consider strategic consumer spending. I'll let you guys be the judge of that!....well, not really. I don't care what you guys think (unless you're on my side). Can I help it if kids.woot.com decides to sell an Ultra-violet toothpaste holder in the shape of a Ninja (that's right...I said NINJA....[cool, I know, right]) that would help kill (by Ninja kicking it's ass!) bacteria and possible fecal matter (gross!) that may contaminate the toothbrushes of our dear, sweet lil' ones for an INCREDIBLE LOW PRICE?!?!?!....I think not! I mean...c'mon...did you read that part....a FRIGGIN NINJA!!!

OK, ok...I'll give you a minute to come down off your Ninja high...
waiting...
waiting...
tik...
tok...
on the clock, but the party don't stop, no, woah-oh oh oh, woah-oh oh oh...

Opps..sorry, I can't get that damn song outta my head.
[singing: don't stop, make it pop, DJ blow my speakers up, 2nite, Imma fight til we see the sunlight...]
And now I got it stuck in your head.

You're welcome!

I digress...back to my argument (and why there is even a need for me to argue this non-addiction is still puzzling to me, but what evvvvv).

Ok, I'll admit - some of my decisions were made in haste. The Pedi-egg although incredibly intriguing and compelling in their As Seen On TV promotions, may not have been the best purchase. But in my defense, I did have the best intentions & concern for removing the dead epithelial tissue from my wife's feet. This is a concern that ALL husbands should have and frankly, I believe I should have been applauded for my quick on my feet thinking (no pun intended) in wanting to collect the dead skin shavings of my wife's feet into what was designed & shaped to resemble a breakfast entree!

Come to think of it....that was a HORRIBLE buy! Who the hell was sitting at the breakfast table one day, holding an egg and thinking to themselves "you know what would be great in this egg...DEAD FEET-SKIN!" and "I bet wonderful, handsome & caring husbands all over the world would buy these for their wives!" The inventor was an Idiot & GENIUS all in one!

But hey, I'm allowed to have one mis-guided purchase (through no fault of mine own...I'm telling you, those damn As Seen on TV commercials should be outlawed they are so convincing)...or occasional buying frenzy. Yes, multiple mis-guided purchases made on the same day should be classified as one instance. We are applying the 24 hour rule here. If you have to ask what that rule is, then you don't need to know!..and I don't have to come up with some cockamamie excuse to explain what it is either.

Let's evaluate some of the exceptional buys I've made over the past few months:

-iDog Dance for iPods & MP3 players......who doesn't love a DANCING DOG - WIN!!!

-behind the head fleece ear warmers......didn't make sense at the time because we live in Miami, but was thanking me up in NC & TN - WIN!!!

-jumbo remote control, a remote control so large, you can't lose it (allegedly)......well, I guess since we can't find it, it's technically lost, and much to my dismay, it's a :( - Non-WIN!!!

-Ultrex Cleaver & Santoku Set......that's right, KNIVES baby. Need I say anything more. Who cares if we never have large butcher types of meat to cut, it's a GIANT KNIFE - WIN!!!

I won't rub in any more of my bargain basement luxury buys here on this blog entry...that would just be snobbish and add to the existing layer of jealousy you already posses of my life style. Lord knows dealing with you groupies is hard enough...I don't need the added 'pyscho' element to be included in your obession.

So in closing...[in a shark voice] FISH ARE FRIENDS, NOT FOOD.
wait, wrong support group.
I will not visit woot.com, sellout.woot.com, sellout.woot.com, shirt.woot.com, 1saleaday.com, slickdeals.net, midnightbox.com, giveawayoftheday.com, amazon lightning deals, fatwallet.com, groupon.com, dodtracker.com every single day of the week. [I will take the weekends off :P ]

Happy Web Shopping....I mean Web Surfing!!!

Peas out!!!