Where's the Beef?...on the Web & it's CHEAP!!!

So apparently there is a fan base out there longing for my return to the blogging world. Albeit, a small, very small fan base...however SIZE DOESN'T MATTER. That's right...the more I say it....the more it IS TRUE!!! Although small in size (that's right, I said it again), it's the people that make up this fan base that makes it unparalleled (in a good way) to the hoards of mis-directed souls that would faint over the sight of just seeing their superstar or idol in person (i.e. Michael Jackson pre & postmortem). Those people are just looney! Now I know what you are thinking, "who the hell does Pito think he is portraying himself as an idol or superstar?" Well, to that I say, "I obviously AM DA SHIIZ-NIT!!!....because after all, you are reading MY BLOG!"

Well now, since you are here and have already invested an un-returnable amount of time to reading my non-sense, you might as well stay and say to yourself "to hell with the rest of my day"...or at least the next 5-10 minutes of it.

On to my poison of choice today...

Internet Bargain Must-Haves or Deal of the Day Addiction?

So I've been told lately, that I have an addiction to what I consider strategic consumer spending. I'll let you guys be the judge of that!....well, not really. I don't care what you guys think (unless you're on my side). Can I help it if kids.woot.com decides to sell an Ultra-violet toothpaste holder in the shape of a Ninja (that's right...I said NINJA....[cool, I know, right]) that would help kill (by Ninja kicking it's ass!) bacteria and possible fecal matter (gross!) that may contaminate the toothbrushes of our dear, sweet lil' ones for an INCREDIBLE LOW PRICE?!?!?!....I think not! I mean...c'mon...did you read that part....a FRIGGIN NINJA!!!

OK, ok...I'll give you a minute to come down off your Ninja high...
waiting...
waiting...
tik...
tok...
on the clock, but the party don't stop, no, woah-oh oh oh, woah-oh oh oh...

Opps..sorry, I can't get that damn song outta my head.
[singing: don't stop, make it pop, DJ blow my speakers up, 2nite, Imma fight til we see the sunlight...]
And now I got it stuck in your head.

You're welcome!

I digress...back to my argument (and why there is even a need for me to argue this non-addiction is still puzzling to me, but what evvvvv).

Ok, I'll admit - some of my decisions were made in haste. The Pedi-egg although incredibly intriguing and compelling in their As Seen On TV promotions, may not have been the best purchase. But in my defense, I did have the best intentions & concern for removing the dead epithelial tissue from my wife's feet. This is a concern that ALL husbands should have and frankly, I believe I should have been applauded for my quick on my feet thinking (no pun intended) in wanting to collect the dead skin shavings of my wife's feet into what was designed & shaped to resemble a breakfast entree!

Come to think of it....that was a HORRIBLE buy! Who the hell was sitting at the breakfast table one day, holding an egg and thinking to themselves "you know what would be great in this egg...DEAD FEET-SKIN!" and "I bet wonderful, handsome & caring husbands all over the world would buy these for their wives!" The inventor was an Idiot & GENIUS all in one!

But hey, I'm allowed to have one mis-guided purchase (through no fault of mine own...I'm telling you, those damn As Seen on TV commercials should be outlawed they are so convincing)...or occasional buying frenzy. Yes, multiple mis-guided purchases made on the same day should be classified as one instance. We are applying the 24 hour rule here. If you have to ask what that rule is, then you don't need to know!..and I don't have to come up with some cockamamie excuse to explain what it is either.

Let's evaluate some of the exceptional buys I've made over the past few months:

-iDog Dance for iPods & MP3 players......who doesn't love a DANCING DOG - WIN!!!

-behind the head fleece ear warmers......didn't make sense at the time because we live in Miami, but was thanking me up in NC & TN - WIN!!!

-jumbo remote control, a remote control so large, you can't lose it (allegedly)......well, I guess since we can't find it, it's technically lost, and much to my dismay, it's a :( - Non-WIN!!!

-Ultrex Cleaver & Santoku Set......that's right, KNIVES baby. Need I say anything more. Who cares if we never have large butcher types of meat to cut, it's a GIANT KNIFE - WIN!!!

I won't rub in any more of my bargain basement luxury buys here on this blog entry...that would just be snobbish and add to the existing layer of jealousy you already posses of my life style. Lord knows dealing with you groupies is hard enough...I don't need the added 'pyscho' element to be included in your obession.

So in closing...[in a shark voice] FISH ARE FRIENDS, NOT FOOD.
wait, wrong support group.
I will not visit woot.com, sellout.woot.com, sellout.woot.com, shirt.woot.com, 1saleaday.com, slickdeals.net, midnightbox.com, giveawayoftheday.com, amazon lightning deals, fatwallet.com, groupon.com, dodtracker.com every single day of the week. [I will take the weekends off :P ]

Happy Web Shopping....I mean Web Surfing!!!

Peas out!!!

Welcome to the EXTRAVAGANZA!!!

I know, I know...I've been away for a few days. Sorry to disappoint my loyal following of three...maybe four people.But for you few that are 'loyal' A.K.A 'insane,' go seek help. Immediately! And please medicate.....heavily. :)

Today's bone that I am picking (with all parents) is that competitive and self imposed obligatory need to host the most amazing, over-the-top, EXTRAVAGANT kids birthday party.....EVER!!!....year after year, after year. From ballon artist, to Disney & Nickelodeon characters, to indoor bouce houses and mobile arcade RVs, to petting zoo's and princess makeovers, to week long Disney trips & Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutiques [yeah, say that 10X fast]...

WHERE DOES IT END.........HOW MUCH WILL WE SPEND?

Now, I'm not going to play Mr. Innocent here. I am very guilty of quite a few luxuries listed above and I know, these are just the luxuries of the po' folk! I'm not even getting into the whole "MTV's My Super Sweet Sixteen" type parties. That's a whole other subject and blog entry for another day.

I mean, for real...why do we do that?

I'll tell you why. It's because we tell ourselves that we want the best for our kids. We justify it by saying "we're getting a deal because if you spend X amount of dollars, they kick in a free cake." Whoop Dee FREAKING DOO!!! But we buy into it so that we have a "no way I could have turned down that deal" excuse to justify "the best for my kid" promise that we made to ourselves. But honestly, is that really the "best" thing for our kids....or our budget?

Gone are the days of throwing a BBQ in the backyard with some party games and a pinata with some 'very close calls.' Now don't get me wrong, the parties with all the 'extras' usually turn out real nice & the kids have alot of fun. But if a kid can have just as much fun with the 'old school classic' parties, then why do we go overboard? Is it really for the kids, or is it to just 'one up' the last parent that went overboard?

Anyways, I'm off. I gotta go meet with Hannah Montana's agent to see how much she charges for a 30 minute appearance.

BEAT THAT PARENTS!!!
HA!

I've warned you about delving into my brain...

So..it's me...I'm back again (no...not Mr. Opportunity AKA Mr. O from the Honda commercials....you know, that cartoon guy that knocks on your tv screen while saying "I'm Mr. Opportunity and I'm [knocking]). The question is, "what are you doing back here again?" You are either bored or are just a glutton for punish.....or you have cracked the code to my demented pysche and actually understand my thoughts as I try to arrange them and lay them out on paper.

Oooo...Ooooooo....

You know what I'm doing.....I'm cropping. Ok, not actually cropping with scrapbook paper & stickers & embellishments (scary that I even know that word), but I'm actually trying to "layout my thoughts in a creative (and organized), but yet entertaining manner"...just like scrap booking AKA cropping. This is me, getting in touch with my feminine side, and trying to score some points with the most beauitiful person in the world, my wife and ever so loving soul mate...Amanda. I am trying to travel from Mars over to Venus. [wink, wink] The only thing is, I think my passport is a little outdated, and in fact may have expired.

Come on, all you parents know what I'm talking about. And for those of you saying, "oh no, not us....our marriage is the same as it ever was after having kids," I just have one thing to say to you...

"BULL S***."

You know how I know this...because I am a wise, intelligent, smart man!!!
.
.
.
.
.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO, I'm lying...that was BULL S*** also. See how easy it is to do. I am somewhat informed of you Venetians and your Venetian ways, thanks to this little book called Baby Proofing Your Marriage.

First Link: http://www.amazon.com/Babyproofing-Your-Marriage-Communicate-Better/dp/0061173541

Second Link: http://www.babyproofingyourmarriage.com/

This book is a great read and super hilarious. I highly recommend it.

OK, enough about all that stuff for now. What I really want to talk about today is addiction. Now, ok, I know the first things you think of when I say 'addiction' is things like; alcohol, drugs, and/or gambling. But what I am talking about is nothing of the sort, however, is as obsessing nonetheless. And that my friends is the.....[drum roll please] INTERNET. Now most of you are saying to yourself, "what?..no...not me." But as a wise man once said so eloquently [in the first paragraph above]...

"BULL S***."

If you have to check your email, Facebook, 'deals' website, ebay.....uhh...ummmm [throat clears] any Scrapbook website, you have an addiction. Look at yourself now. NO...REALLY....stop & take a look at yourself now and I want you to ask yourself this question - "What the hell am I doing reading this dude's blog?" Before you know it, you are going to be in a dark alley somewhere, with your Apple Macbook, and your Blackberry Pearl tethered to the laptop begging, I mean searching for an Internet signal, just so that you can get your Facebook fix. Is that what you want with your life...is it....IS IT?!?!?!?!?!?

The thing I want to know is....what drives us to develop these addictions. Why is this blogging crap the most WONDERFUL thing in the world all of a sudden? Why was/is Facebook so awesome AND ADDICTING??? Why are my friends from Venus Crop addicts?

Forget the question as to why God put us on this earth. The real question is.....WHY ARE WE ADDICTED TO THE DAMN INTERNET.

Like a Moth to a Flame AND IMPORTANT WORLD ISSUES...

So it's day #2 and I find myself somewhat intrigued by this whole new idea of blogging...not to mention I remembered my logon credentials to this site. OK, fine, it was still cached from yesterday's session. But whatever, I remembered to come back...didn't I? If you are close to me and know who I really am, that in itself deserves some kind of acknowledgment...a good job, an attaboy....heck, I'll even take some 'snaps for Julio' .....ahhhh, come on, you remember....the 'Snap Cup' from the movie Legally Blonde 2. Hey, what can I say, my daughter is a huge fan of that movie ...[inner thought: and so am I, but no one has to know that. The secret is safe in my head and shall never be revealed...especially in some sort of blog like this one], so I am FORCED to watch it quite often. I'll do anything for my kids ...[inner thought: oh yeah, lay it on thick...no one will ever suspect anything.]

So on to what I really wanted to talk about today. Something that I need to get off my chest. A serious topic and subject in today's world. One that should not be taken lightly....and that is BATMAN!!! Now I know what you are thinking (if you're a female), "oh God, another 'Superhero, comic-book, boy trapped in a [chubby] man's body,' obsession of living out his childhood fantasies." But no, I am somewhat on the same page as you. Yes, I'm referring to the new Batman movie, Dark Knight, starring Christian Bale, who he himself allegedly has a 'Dark' side. Today it was reported that he has been arrested, detained, whatever you want to call it for allegedly assaulting his mother & sister on the night of his big premiere. Apparently his 'childhood fantasies' were a little flicked (word choice was for you TamRod) beyond normal superhero fantasies. In any case, I digress.

Back to the topic.

I find myself surrounded by die hard fans of not only this movie series, but of the actual comic book series as well. Their extensive background of the storyline & characters are both impressive and at the same time a little frightening. Did I grow up under a rock the first 20 years of my life, or was I just oblivious to this genre, cult, whatever you want to call it, altogether? I am going to see the movie today after work with a group of guys, but I find that I am just not as hyped as the rest of them. I mean, I am looking forward to hanging out with them and I am easily entertained by any movie ...[whispering inner thought: especially the Legally Blonde series], but I just feel like an outcast. Somebody who is not 'in the know' and who has not experienced this nirvana of Superhero Legends. Superman, Star Wars, Batman...might as well be asking me the important figures in the Civil War or World War II. Yes, I know I should know that, but like I said before...I honestly think I grew up under a rock. Truth be told, I'm just idiot with the memory span of a fish....yes, I'll keep biting that hook with bait attached, especially if it's a chicken wing smothered in bleu cheese dressing...yuummmm! Dammit, I digress again ...[inner thought: note to self - pick up some chicken wings and a gallon of bleu cheese later tonight].

Point being...I'm off to see Batman Dark Knight to tonight...and to have my man card stamped.


...[deep whispering final inner thought: I wonder if they are going to make a Legally Blonde 3? Ooooo...I hope so. Oh, maybe they'll have a preview for it today at the movies. If so, 'SNAPS TO HOLLYWOOD']

Peer Pressure...

I have succumbed to the peer pressure of creating my own blog.
So for those of you daring (or more likely bored) enough to read my cryptic organization of writings....enjoy....or should I say let the confusion & WTF's begin.

In all honesty, I created this blogger account so that I can comment on other's (much more interesting) blogs. Hopefully soon, I'll be inspired enough to post something of interest to the masses as well as post something memorable for myselft & family. However, in all likelihood, I'll forget about my username & password, let alone this website, in about 15-20 mins anyhow....only setting myself up for later frustration about 2 months from now when I'm trying to log in only to keep getting denied. :)